Last Best Place

We decided to try something new and embarked on a winter in Montana.

Five months later, we are still just in awe of Big Sky Country.

Montana has been hailed a the “Last Best Place” and the “Treasure State,” and it’s easy to see why.  The views, the attitudes (or lack thereof), the outdoor lifestyle, the breathing room– and especially that big, big sky.  Driving through Montana for the first time on the way to Canada was scenic if only to watch how long the sky holds the light after the sun ducks behind the land.

 

So on the way back down, we decided simply to stay.  We rented an apartment and moved ourselves on in for the ski season.

Montana has come with a lot of realizations: personal, professional, interpersonal, material- on some levels even spiritual.  There was something we were looking for on Long Island that just didn’t exist; would it exist out here?

To a large extent, yes.  I love my NYers, but we aren’t a hospitable bunch.  Montanans are kinder, more open to interaction, more keen to the humorous moments of everyday life.  Overall, it seems, they’re more satisfied, truly happier.  Is this what you get when you leave the rat race?

Median incomes in Bozeman, a cosmopolitan area compared to the rest of the state that’s currently experiencing rapid growth, are about $48k/year.  Somehow, everyone seems to be driving $60k trucks and affording the rather expensive outdoor hobbies.  The gear-lust out here is something fierce, but not something necessarily competitive.  People can’t wait to get their hands on new skis, or a new snowmobile, or new fishing gear… but because they generally live for these experiences; not because So-and-So just bought it.   Median incomes in Suffolk County, NY are $90k/year.  And we CANNOT WAIT to get our hands on somesuch car, or take this trip, or give our kids this experience – almost exclusively so we can go tell So-and-So.  Why are we making twice as much and half as happy?

I do think that as an unmarried, well-educated 20-something, I begin to feel much of the, as I call it, “white collar pressure” of staying on Long Island.  How WOULD I afford a home and a good life here if I didn’t enter some more prestigious career?  It is a thought that can drive you crazy when you’re just looking for experience under your belt before settling down and making (debt-incurring) life decisions.  Or… it can drive you to Montana to put it off for another year. 😉

And that is how we ended up out here, trying this space out.  Trying space out- from the coasts and forks we love on LI, from our families and friends, from our HEAVY New York City influence.  Catching a little breathing room 4800 feet above sea level.

 

 

Sunday 4.30

Sundays are sacred in my mind.  Not for any of the religious reasons that they probably should be.  But for me, they just carry this misty grey aura of a contented sigh,  “ahhhhhh, we’re reunited again.”  Sundays are do-no-wrong days for me, and always special.  They are the detente between work weeks, the oft-untouched days of your social calendar (or those reserved only for the people you REALLY want to see), and they invite something cozy, delicious, restful, and sometimes even a bit luxurious.  If you are hazy and hungover, so be it.  If you worked hard and want to get brunchy tipsy, go for it.  If you are fitness junkie and smash yoga in the am, more power to ya.  If your morning rolls into your night so effortlessly that your pj’s never come off… Far be it from me to judge your mojo flow on a Sunday.

IMG_0376

Which is how this stellar Sunday came about.  Every East Ender knows that we had our first *real* warm night Saturday, so Casamigos by the fire pit with the pups was in order.  And to my sleepy surprise (& reason behind my strong affection for that tequila<3aaf), we were unaffected enough to wake up at 7:30 for hot yoga.  It was a crowded room full of sweaty messes, good music, and deeeep stretchessss.

Our ensuing brunch was unplanned during a visit to family.  But it ended up consisting of brie and crackers, sea scallops brought fresh from Maine (cooked with cilantro and lime), and crusty bread to soak the sauce.   I’ve never had that flavor profile on scallops, and it was all the things you’d want it to be; acidic, tart, salty, awake, and unfussy on the sweet scallops.  We need not get into the perfect simplicity of a quick-baked brie and trusty Triscuits.

And then I drove to Greenport while my love ran some errands, and all my morning enthusiasm turned to afternoon melancholy …aka… nap time.

Recharged, a quick mint tea at Aldo’s led to stopping into the bookshop and the Weathered Barn, resulting in a postcard and travel purse purchase, respectively.  Because I’m a sucker for snail mail and sales.

lil creek

Next up was oysters!  Kind of.  Ew.  I still don’t get it, but he’s a big fan.  So when he met me, we went to his favorite: Little Creek.  They have recently added some little finger sandwiches to the menu, a much welcome addition for this non-oyster-eater.  I was a Bordeaux heaux while enjoying that sharp Greek cheese, good butter, tomato… perfect nibbles.  As always the staff impresses with their relaxed ambiance; it’s clearly a place where everyone loves their work.  We’ve been going here since shortly after they opened and the consistency with this energy is admirable.  Here’s my look around on  my first time there…

Enter drinks and apps at American Beech after we walked the puppa; a sweet gin cocktail with chamomile and lavendar, a notable asparagus caesar salad.  Soft lighting and professional attitude, yes; sort of bizarre uniforms, for sure.

And that is when I knew we were veering in to uber-excessive territory – because his craving for a perfect dessert brought us to the real MVP, North Fork Table and Inn, on the way home.

Nofo table

As an aside, we stayed here at the North Fork Inn in 2015.  He surprised me with a night to celebrate the end of my penultimate semester at school.  It is perfectly appointed; simple without being forgettable- clean whites, comfy bed, good bubbly.  The breakfast the next morning (above!) was heartily rustic and refined as well: fresh quiches and fruit, healthy yogurt, not-too-sweet granola, quality tea and coffee.  Highly, highly recommended for an uncumbersome duck away.  We also dined here this past December, and the pillowy potato soup and creamiest truffle pasta were remarkable, below.

nofo

But back to this lush af friggen Sunday, we were laughing so hard at the bar that our probably-not-quiet-enough jokes were my favorite part despite a melt-in-your-mouth rhubarb shortcake.  I can’t stress enough my favorite aspect of quality pastry; the ability to be light on the tongue yet SO rich on flavor.  When you are eating butter, flour, cream, and sugar, as we so often are for dessert, I am never more impressed than when those heavy ingredients produce bites light as air.

So that was Sunday.  And typing it out, it definitely sounds as rad as it was.  Suckaaas:*

Also be kind to me on the photo/vid quality.  Real life, pre-blogging-attempt, is not so concerned with perfection as much as capturing the moment to remember it.

LIfe Dreams

Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing.  You know what’s worse?  Sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.  You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon.  There’s no risk when you go after a dream.  There’s a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe.
Bill Burr

Nothing to lose, then, so everyone go get some.

I revisited this quote today, which I like for the sentiment of taking risks and following dreams, obviously.  But it occurred to me that it’s particularly interesting for my fellow LI 20somethings, because some of our dreams are just playing it safe, and being able to afford it.  Some of us just dream of home ownership and/or a brood of our own.  For a piece of land to latch on to near our extended families, who settled here when it wasn’t so difficult.  We can’t afford anything right now, for the most part, where the median price for purchasing is $375k.  I’ve been piecemealing room rentals, education, and hospitality jobs to make myself a life I love near the people I love, who worked this land during easier generations and lower property values.

Most of my contemporaries have either moved off the island or still live with their parents.  Thank you but – no thank you.  If I left again for a time, I know I’d still end up here for the long haul.  I could rent a two-bedroom for the same price in East Hampton as Brooklyn; it’s not for my wallet that I remain, but for my sanity.  I keep getting drawn back out to the tail, to the sunset nooks I know, to the comfort of a quiet winter and a warm bumbling summer, balancing the American retail satisfaction of Riverhead with the soul-refreshing ease of the North Fork.

We are a unique breed – forever incubating in the shadow of NYC; honoring our farming heritage, our fishing culture, our strip mall propensity; trying to protect some of our land from development; seeing the wealth concentrate on the coasts while pockets of the center fester.  Excluding Brooklyn and Queens, Long Island makes up about 15 percent of New York State’s population; and we’re so damn tiny.  (And including them, we make up about 40 percent…!) We are something special, in my opinion.

So in a lot of ways this blog is my wish from the fish.  It’s all the things I love here, plus all the things I’ve loved about leaving here….